George Meets Art van Delay
by MJG
Summary: George meets the REAL Art van Delay. It's not finished yet, there will be more chapters.


Disclaimer: I didn't invent Seinfeld.  
  
A/N: I wrote this when I was 12.  
  
Seinfeld: George, Meet Art van Delay  
  
Scene 1: Jerry's Apartment  
  
George: It's George  
  
Jerry: Come on up.  
  
George come up.  
  
George: Hi  
  
Jerry: Hi. M&M?  
  
George: Yeah, okay. So how are things with Alison?  
  
Jerry: Surprisingly good considering we broke up.  
  
George: Have you noticed that you break up with women so often, it's becoming like a routine? It's like you do it every...what is it, every week?  
  
Jerry: Something like that.  
  
George: Let me guess. You have a new girlfriend.  
  
Jerry: Yeah. You'll meet her; she's coming here soon and we're going to a movie.  
  
George: Do you know her name?  
  
Jerry: Yes, I know her name. It's Jill.  
  
George: Is it the same Jill I went out with?  
  
Jerry: No.  
  
George: You know pretty soon you will have gone out with every woman in the city. You'll have to move or become gay.  
  
Jerry: What's with you today?  
  
George: Nothing.  
  
Jerry: Here, want some gum?  
  
George: Why, does my breath stink?  
  
Jerry: Ah, THAT'S the George I know and hate.  
  
George: Do you hate me because my breath stinks? 'Cause if it does, give me the whole pack of gum.  
  
Jerry: Here you go.  
  
George: Is it that bad, Jerry?  
  
Buzz  
  
Jerry: Yeah?  
  
Jill: It's me, Jill.  
  
Jerry: Come up.  
  
George: (with mouth full of gum) So that's Jill, huh?  
  
Jerry: What?  
  
Jill comes in.  
  
Jill: Hi, Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Hi. Jill, this is George. George, Jill.  
  
George: (mouth still full of gum) Hi Jill.  
  
Jill: Uh…hi.  
  
Jerry: Jill and I were just going to a movie.  
  
George: Well, I'll see you later.  
  
Jerry: Yeah, bye.  
  
Scene 2: Jerry's Car  
  
Jill: What was with all the gum?  
  
Jerry: You mean George? He's a gumoholic.  
  
Jill: He's addicted to gum?  
  
Jerry: Gumphobia? I can't stand gum.  
  
Jill: You know, my father hates gum. If he sees someone chewing it he goes crazy.  
  
Jerry: So I guess he doesn't work for any gum companies.  
  
Jill: No; he owns a latex company. It's not doing very well though. He's understaffed. People usually quit after a week. No one likes working with my father.  
  
Jerry: Maybe I've heard of him. What's his name?  
  
Jill: I'm pretty sure you haven't. My father is Art van Delay.  
  
Jerry: Art van Delay? I think I've heard of him.  
  
Scene 3: Monk's  
  
George: Jill's father is Art van Delay?  
  
Jerry: That's right.  
  
George: But, but I made him up!  
  
Jerry: Well, he's real.  
  
George: If Jill finds out, do you think she could sue me for stealing her father?  
  
Jerry: Don't be ridiculous. Oh no, it's Bania!  
  
George: The comedian?  
  
Jerry: It's comedians like him that give the rest of us a bad name.  
  
Bania: Hi Jerry! Do you come here often, Jerry?  
  
Jerry: Yes.  
  
Bania: You know this is the only place that has a Big Salad.  
  
Jerry: Really.  
  
George: Well, I guess I'd better be going.  
  
George leaves much to Jerry's dismay.  
  
Kramer comes in.  
  
Kramer: Hey, Jerry, I need your help. Newman wants to paint his apartment.  
  
Jerry tries to decide what he'd rather. Newman or Bania…Newman or Bania…  
  
Jerry: Look, Bania, I'm really sorry but I have to help Newman.  
  
Jerry and Kramer run out of the shop.  
  
Scene 4: Outside Monk's  
  
Kramer: Right, the Post Office is this way.  
  
Jerry: Post Office? I thought we were painting Newman's apartment.  
  
Kramer: You aren't. We are.  
  
Jerry: So what am I doing?  
  
Kramer: Delivering the mail for Newman while we paint his apartment.  
  
Jerry: Can't we paint his apartment while he delivers the mail?  
  
Kramer: Don't tell him I told you this but I don't think he trusts you.  
  
Jerry: So he doesn't trust me to paint an apartment but he trusts me to do his job?  
  
Kramer: Actually, he doesn't know I asked you to do it.  
  
Jerry: There's George, ask him. GEORGE!  
  
George: Is that Bania guy gone?  
  
Kramer: Do you want to help Newman?  
  
George: With what?  
  
Jerry: Delivering mail. Just put on a few pounds, wear a toupee and no one will notice the difference.  
  
Scene 5: The Hallway in Jerry's Building  
  
Kramer: Newman, what are you doing?  
  
Newman: I was painting the door and then I closed it to see what it would look like from outside and when I tried to open it, it was stuck.  
  
Jerry walks by.  
  
Newman: Hello Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Hello Newman.  
  
Kramer: Here, let me try.  
  
Jerry: What's wrong with the door?  
  
Kramer: It's stuck.  
  
Jerry: Stuck?  
  
Newman: I painted it closed.  
  
Jerry: Well, at least George is covering for you at work.  
  
Scene 6: Post Office  
  
Newman's Boss: Newman?  
  
George: (wearing a toupee that looks nothing like Newman's hair) I'm here.  
  
Newman's Boss: Are you Newman? You look different.  
  
George: It's amazing what a little cosmetic surgery can do these days.  
  
Newman's Boss: You chose to look like that? Well, I slight improvement, anyway. You'll be delivering mail between the Library and Van Delay's Industries.  
  
George: Van Delay?  
  
Newman's Boss: Yeah, you know, that latex company.  
  
George: Yeah, I think I've heard of it.  
  
To Be Continued… 


End file.
